Sunday, 16 May 2010

Pheonix- Final Attempt Pt 2 Featuring some of Marvel's finest heroes!

I couldn’t let her go. I couldn’t stand there and let her die again. My phone rang from inside my jacket. Parker. The last guy I want to speak to at a time like this. I answered in hope he has some useful information.
“Whaddya want Parker?” I didn’t have time for this.
“Hey Wolvie, fancy catching a movie later? Just us two?” The sound of his voice instantly irritated me let alone the stupid jokes.
“Spit it out Peter or you identity goes all over the Internet.”
“Ok, ok. Stark’s got a trace on your girl, seem she’s heading over to the Nevada desert. She’s pretty fast. We can take the Quinjet over there but we could be too late.” I could hear hurried voices in the background and the whir of technology, never been good with that type of stuff.
“Forget the Quinjet, you stay there. This is too big even for the Avengers” I started running phone in hand.
“So instead of a team of superheroes you just think little old Wolverine will stand a better chance?” Parker’s snarky voice cut threw me like a knife. I had no time for this.
“Whatever Parker just do something!” I threw the phone to the ground as I ran, smashing it to pieces. How the hell would I get to the Nevada desert in time? Then the thought struck me; I needed the X-Jet. But I needed it fast. I ran in the middle of the road, not giving a second thought to the cars and trucks swerving to avoid me, a man on a motorcycle sped straight towards me. Just what I needed. I stuck out my fist as he swerved past knocking him clean off.
“Sorry.” He probably didn’t hear my grunt as I was already on the bike and down the freeway before he had even registered what had happened. I pushed the bike to its limit, everything around me turned into a solid blur of colour. By the time I smashed through the gates of Xavier’s School For Gifted Youngsters, half an hour had already passed. Jean could be dead by now.
I leapt off the bike letting it careen into a patch of bushes. Running through the school seemed to take forever, kids everywhere, calling my name, trying to catch a glimpse of their ex-teacher. I tore through the halls, never running so fast in my life, my heart raced and head pounded but this was all for Jean. I finally reached the garage and there in the centre was the X-Jet, big, black and fast.
I was in the cockpit and rearing the engines before the alarms had even sounded. The ceiling above opened up and the jet slowly rose. It was almost funny seeing Scott run into the garage screaming futile threats.
The engine roared to life and shot forward, leaving the school behind in a blur and rumbling the earth below. The X-Jet was fast, but I needed faster, for all I know Jean could be dead by now.
“C’mon, c’mon you piece of crap!” I urged it to go faster but it was already peaking at top speed. The navigation unit showed the Nevada desert ebbing closer. The scenery changed from the blur of grey city blocks, to green forests and finally an orange blur of desert.
I eased the throttle, slowing the beast down as I scanned the area. She must be here. A huge, bright light suddenly filled the cockpit, blinding me with its intensity. The whole jet shuddered and jolted to the side. I couldn’t see anything. I could only hear the sound of roaring fire and screeching. The jet was suddenly flung downwards, plunging to the ground. I braced myself as my stomach lurched, not knowing which way was up or down. This was gonna hurt.
I blacked out. Opening my eyes to a blurry scene of fire and metal shrapnel. Sand was in my mouth and searing pain cut through my body. The scene slowly began to clear and a figure became more prominent. It was Jean. She was alive.
Jean pulled the metal off me using her telekinesis. Blood splattered over her face and clothes torn to shreds. She was in trouble. Forget that, we both were.
“What the hell are you doing Logan?! I told you not to come here!” Jean whirled around as I picked myself up. In front of us, blazing in the sky was a huge phoenix, made entirely out of fire. Screeching to the heavens as its fire seemed to pulsate.
“I came here to save you Jean, your not going down without a fight! I told you!” With a burst of rage I felt the bones in my arm shudder, they clicked into place and slid forward shooting out of my fists as three large, razor sharp knifes. Thank you weapon X.
We both ran at the swirling beast of fire, Jean throwing blasts of white-hot energy at it, knocking it back. It could be hurt this time, that’s an improvement.
“Jean!” I kept on running, adrenaline coursing through me, “Throw me at it!” I felt the ground leave my feet as my body was flung through the air. I slashed through the fire as the bird shrieked in what sounded like pain. Jean was there to catch me on the way back down. Her eyes were ablaze and her face wild with fury. She flew towards the bird, screaming in anger. I’ve never seen her like this before. She smashed headlong into the monster only to be thrown out of the sky and back to the ground again in a bloody heap.
“Jean!” I ran towards her, fear crashing over me. I held her in my arms as her eyes flickered.
“Y-you need to go L-logan.” I wiped the blood from her mouth. “J-just go!” She coughed, bringing up more blood. The bird of fire, circled around us, waiting to go in for the kill and reclaim Jean. We had lost. I had failed.
With a heart-piercing screech it plunged towards us in a dive, ready for the kill.
I closed my eyes ready for the pain and death. Maybe Jean and I could be together after life. But it didn’t come, a loud bang came from over my head and the bird screeched yet again. Someone was standing over me, holding a shield, which had deflected the bird’s attack.
My eyes adjusted to the light and settled on the star spangled hero himself.
“Glad you showed Cap.”
He pulled me off my feet and smiled, “You never have to fight alone Wolverine.”
Spider-woman and Ms Marvel swooped down beside us and picked up Jean in their arms, they took her to the Quinjet, residing next to the shattered remains of the X-Jet. Shouts and blasts echoed around me as I looked around. The Avengers were in full swing in a battle with the phoenix force. The sight before me was glorious, even down to that annoying little brat Spider-Man leaping about shooting off jokes. A glint in the sky revealed itself to be Iron Man shooting repulsor blasts of light at the beast and knocking it to the ground. It was a sight to behold and the only thought that run threw my throbbing head was; let me get a piece.
The claws shot out of my hand as I charged to the wounded Phoenix, everyone darted out of my way as I screamed in rage, lungs ready to burst. I plunged my fists into the fire of the bird and it leapt back in pain. For saying the beast was made entirely out of fire, it was surprisingly solid.
I was knocked aside in a gust of wind as Jean shot past me.
“No!” I ran after the two duelling entities, the rest of the Avengers stood rooted to the spot. There was nothing we could do now. The Pheonix and Jean rose into the air as they swirled around each other becoming a blur of fire. An all-encompassing blast shot from them sending the sand into frenzy. When all had settled they had both disappeared in the explosion.
I couldn’t save her. Not even with the help of friends.
The legends said that the Pheonix would not stop, would not die until it had what it needed. The legends were true.
Jean Grey was lost to the world again.


  1. Good. Part one, I thought was a bit heavy on dialogue and it was really description heavy. Sometimes that lost me a bit in the progress of the storyline. I did like the imagery but there was a lot of you in this. That isn't a bad thing because as I said last week, the writer's voice is as important as the characters; however there was a lot of you in the character. Try, if you can to switch off from what you know about your characters. Some of the best writers on the planet put too much of what they know into the characters and let less of the character through the prose if you see what I mean? I thought that this was a great piece of work and I want to see you apply less Marvel know-how and more story development construct in your final story.

  2. Cheers for the feedback kelly and taking the time to read it all!
    I didn't know if I was going too far with the whole Avengers thing cause they came a bigger part of the story than I originally intended, there's alot more on the characters in my "Long way home" and little to no Marvel references.

    I just couldn't resist with this more free homework!

    I'll work on letting the characters grow more with less of me in them for the final sotryline.